If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
