do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
