you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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