I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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