Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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