We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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