I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
