it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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