p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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