yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
