Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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