I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
