I can text with my tongue
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
