Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
