Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
