I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
