brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
