if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
