so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
