if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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