I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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