sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
