I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
