like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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