Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize