there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
