Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
