God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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