This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
