I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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