Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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