then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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