Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
