with your own penis?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
