im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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