I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
