guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
