My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
