Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
