She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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