I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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