So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
