Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
