god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
