Pappa wants mamma naked
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
