Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
