Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
