is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
