she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
