I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
