True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize