Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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