Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
