Where is the hickey?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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