I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
