So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
