I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
