if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's blow job season.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
