Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
