I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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